Self-Esteem and Your Healing Journey

If you're here, you're probably deep on a self-healing journey and looking for ways to increase self-esteem (aka self-love), and decrease self-sabotage. I've been on an intentional personal growth journey for over 20 years, and supporting individuals 1:1 as a licensed therapist for over 10. The one thing I know is this: change happens 1% at a time, and is best supported with daily practices that slowly but surely change the mind, the heart, the body and our connection to our own inner wisdom.

Today I'm here to offer some simple but actionable practices you can use to love yourself more when you find yourself overwhelmed, stressed, and dealing with an inner critic that just won't quit.

Keep reading to learn six practices that will help you increase your self-esteem, self-love and self-compassion. 

Each practice is an invitation to love yourself just a little bit more, embrace the incredible human that you are, and inspire you to take small but impactful steps towards healing, integration and transformation. Ready? Let's dive in!

6 Practices To Increase Your Self-Esteem

1. Remember Your True Nature: You Are More Than Enough

You are valuable. You are loved. You are enough. Please know that your worth isn't tied to your achievements, your appearance, or recognition from others. Soothe your ego and the part of you that might be convinced you're not doing enough with this healing affirmation:

'I am doing enough. It's ok to slow down and just breathe.'

If you're having a hard time believing yourself, listen to this gorgeous song 'You Are Enough'.

2. Cultivate Self-Compassion: Be Your Own Bestie

You treat your friends with kindness, love, and compassion—why should you offer yourself anything less? Self-compassion is foundational to emotional strength, self-love and self-esteem. Research consistently shows that being gentle with yourself in moments of perceived inadequacy or failure creates a mind-body connection that increases self-acceptance, and decreases self-criticism. When you notice yourself being unkind or harsh with yourself today, slow down, breathe deep, place your hand on your heart and say something kind to yourself.

Practice being your own best friend today.

3. Nurture Your Inner Child: Reparent Yourself With Loving Self-Talk

Learning how to speak to yourself with kindness, love and gentleness is a skill many of us have to learn. If you find yourself dealing with a harsh inner critic, an inner mean girl or an unloving critical inner parent, it's time to start reprogramming your inner world.

The easiest way to start nurturing your inner child is to start paying attention to how you speak to yourself. Most of us have an internalized parental voice that is deeply unconscious and can be tricky to uncover.  You can try speaking your thoughts out loud or journaling to find out what your inner parent, or self-talk, really sounds like.

Once you can 'hear' it, it's helpful to reparent yourself the way you would use 'find and replace' on a Word document 😊. Identify the unhelpful words, and replace them with a more kind and loving phrase.

For more information on this process you can read my article: Mastering the Art of Self-Talk: Tame Your Inner Critic and Learn to Love Yourself.

4. Practice Setting Boundaries: Your Energy is Sacred

Your energy is precious, and easily influenced by the pace at which you move through life, the people around you, and the endless demands of life as we know it. Learning to set boundaries means learning to say no. And it's not just about saying no to others, but sometimes to yourself. Do you find yourself overstimulated? Overcommitted? Always feelings rushed and like you're not doing enough? Learning how to set boundaries is the medicine.

One of the best ways to start setting boundaries is learning what your internal 'yes' vs 'no' is. Once you can identify if you are a yes or a no to any given situation, invitation or interaction, you can start making choices that align with your inner wisdom and support your personal growth.

If you're looking for a book to support you, I recommend: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab.

And if you're looking for more books to inspire you on your healing journey, make sure to download my book list! ↓

5. Cultivate Meaningful Connections: Relationships are Healing

While it's obvious that relationships are important, research shows how interconnected we are, and how much we 'need' other people for our health and wellness. This is your gentle reminder that connecting with others is imperative on the healing journey. Surrounding yourself with and staying connected to a supportive tribe of amazing humans can boost your self-esteem significantly. These are the souls who reflect your inner beauty, remind you of your strengths, and help you grow. If you're struggling to find your people, it can be helpful to check out local meetups, yoga studios, hiking groups or book clubs.

Start doing more of what you love and connect with others in your community.

6. Reflect and Meditate: Connect With Your Inner Wisdom

Meditation isn't about 'not thinking' and sitting in perfect stillness communing with the cosmos (but if that's your experience, more power to you!). Meditation is for everyone. It's the invitation to sit with yourself, to get curious about what it's like to just be you, and an opportunity to get to know yourself and shower yourself with loving kindness. 

If you're someone who thinks you can't meditate, I'm here to challenge that thought! If you're new to the practice, I recommend starting with a guided meditation so your mind has something to 'do' and start by committing to sit quietly with yourself for 7-10 minutes and just see what happens.

Check out my Inner Wisdom Guided Meditation for some support!

Find Support With Self-Esteem Therapy

I hope and trust this list inspires you to take action, start practicing, and shower yourself with more love, more compassion and more kindness today. And if you're looking for personal 1:1 support, we're here for you!

Here at The Holistic Counseling Center our therapists can help you reparent your inner child, learn to set boundaries, and provide practical tools and practices to help you increase self-esteem and decrease self-sabotaging behaviors. 

If you’re ready for support on your healing journey, we are accepting new clients for virtual therapy for anyone in California. If you're in Northern California, we offer in-person therapy at our office in El Dorado Hills, near Folsom and Sacramento.

To get started, schedule a free consultation call to speak with our intake coordinator. On our call, we’ll discuss logistics, what kind of therapy we offer, match you with one of our awesome therapists, and if it feels good you can schedule your first therapy session! 

Find out more about our team HERE and more about our fees HERE.

We look forward to being a part of your healing journey!

-KimBurris, LMFT

References

Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing. A grounding exploration of self-worth that champions the idea of embracing our authentic selves.

Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. William Morrow & Company. This text illuminates the profound impact self-compassion has on our overall well-being.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1994). Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life. Hyperion. An accessible introduction to the practice of meditation and the role it plays in fostering internal wisdom.

About the author

Kim Burris, LMFT is a licensed holistic psychotherapist, founder of The Holistic Counseling Center, and author of ‘The First 90 Days After Birth.’

She honors the mind, body, spirit connection and offers evidence-based psychotherapy with a heart centered approach that helps people find relief from anxiety and self-sabotage so they can live life with more joy, freedom and ease.

Kim and her team currently offer holistic counseling to individuals in California. Click HERE to book a no-cost consultation call.